Hello, son,<\/p>\n\n
Yesterday, the three of us went to a restaurant.<\/p>\n\n
You were in your stroller, without oxygen, without a mask.<\/p>\n\n
We ate by the sea with your mom, like we love to do, and you played with other children.<\/p>\n\n
We drank a bottle of wine, we came home a little tipsy like we used to.<\/p>\n\n
The three of us slept together, without getting up, without monitoring, without being afraid.<\/p>\n\n
And this morning, you jumped into our arms.<\/p>\n\n
We had breakfast together, peacefully.<\/p>\n\n
Your pediatrician told us to be careful because you’re gaining too much weight.<\/p>\n\n
You’re in great shape, what a joy!<\/p>\n\n
APRIL FOOLS!<\/p>\n\n
The reality is that we’re living in a web.<\/p>\n\n
A spider’s web.<\/p>\n\n
We know where it started.<\/p>\n\n
We don’t know where it ends.<\/p>\n\n
It seems infinite.<\/p>\n\n
And we know it’s there, the spider… somewhere…<\/p>\n\n
And that at the slightest misstep, it can fall on us.<\/p>\n\n
And everything can collapse.<\/p>\n\n
So we move forward slowly.<\/p>\n\n
Searching for a way out in this infinity.<\/p>\n\n
With this constant fear that it will catch us.<\/p>\n\n
Since we came home, we’ve had 2 visits.<\/p>\n\n
We’re told we’re strong.<\/p>\n\n
The truth?<\/p>\n\n
We have no choice.<\/p>\n\n
We may look solid.<\/p>\n\n
But in reality, we’re fragile.<\/p>\n\n
Like a twig already broken several times, stuck in this unstable web, still standing… because it has no choice.<\/p>\n\n
This week, we spoke with one of the best physical therapists in Brazil.<\/p>\n\n
Your disease is progressive.<\/p>\n\n
One virus, and we can lose months.<\/p>\n\n
One day, maybe, a transplant.<\/p>\n\n
Hope is the time we manage to gain.<\/p>\n\n
In this web.<\/p>\n\n
Through care, vigilance, and a life almost cut off from the world.<\/p>\n\n
Two years.<\/p>\n\n
Then five.<\/p>\n\n
Then eight.<\/p>\n\n
We’ve almost made it one year.<\/p>\n\n
My body and soul feel like it’s been ten years.<\/p>\n\n
There are days when fatigue takes over everything.<\/p>\n\n
When doubt sets in.<\/p>\n\n
When guilt eats away at me.<\/p>\n\n
When I wonder how long I can hold on.<\/p>\n\n
Yesterday, we went into town.<\/p>\n\n
Tests. Again. <\/p>\n\n
Your heart is fine. No hypertension. <\/p>\n\n
“Good news.”<\/p>\n\n
Then, a blood draw.<\/p>\n\n
An hour of crying.<\/p>\n\n
Attempts involving all limbs.<\/p>\n\n
Staff who seem to have never seen a hygiene manual.<\/p>\n\n
And not a drop of blood…<\/p>\n\n
And then the vaccines.<\/p>\n\n
Left at 6 a.m.<\/p>\n\n
Got home at 4 p.m.<\/p>\n\n
You barely ate.<\/p>\n\n
And when I’m told you’re doing well.<\/p>\n\n
That it’s great you don’t need oxygen anymore.<\/p>\n\n
It’s true!<\/p>\n\n
But the reality is that the world is dangerous for you.<\/p>\n\n
Invisible.<\/p>\n\n
Everywhere.<\/p>\n\n
And your life, for now, is avoiding this world.<\/p>\n\n
Because without oxygen, you seem normal.<\/p>\n\n
But in reality, everything can collapse.<\/p>\n\n
Because of a simple virus.<\/p>\n\n
Because of negligence.<\/p>\n\n
And when I hear that we have to accept it, that it’s fate…<\/p>\n\n
I scream inside.<\/p>\n\n
There are days when I can’t do it.<\/p>\n\n
Fortunately, there’s your smile.<\/p>\n\n
It’s what keeps me standing.<\/p>\n\n
It’s what pushes me to keep going.<\/p>\n\n
It’s what still gives me strength.<\/p>\n\n
So I move forward.<\/p>\n\n
In this damn web.<\/p>\n\n
Your mom is here too.<\/p>\n\n
We’re holding on. As best we can. <\/p>\n\n
We move forward.<\/p>\n\n
We struggle.<\/p>\n\n
We search for that way out.<\/p>\n\n
And we hope to never encounter the spider.<\/p>\n\n
I love you, my little potato.<\/p>\n\n
And today, sorry…<\/p>\n\n
I’m tired and frustrated…<\/p>\n\n
Brazilian insurance companies have tested my nerves again…<\/p>\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hello, son, Yesterday, the three of us went to a restaurant. You were in your stroller, without oxygen, without a mask. We ate by the sea with your mom, like we love to do, and you played with other children. We drank a bottle of wine, we came home a little tipsy like we used […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"both","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":301,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","_seopress_news_disabled":"","_seopress_video_disabled":"","_seopress_video":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas_manual":[],"_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable_all":"","_seopress_pro_rich_snippets_disable":[],"_seopress_pro_schemas":[],"iawp_total_views":2,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-memoirs-of-a-heros-dad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5677"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5677\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5684,"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5677\/revisions\/5684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopeforgabriel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}